then I woke up and felt a boner that wasn't even mine. never taking 3am vodka again
So apparently last night I was running around columbus circle station screaming that Obama was a pussy and that "waterboarding should always be an option" lol
I'll be a little late, "getting ready for the party" turned into "smoking a bowl and doing lines in my room for an hour and a half." But I'm on my way now. With coke. And weed.
Breakfast=the leftover margarita in my car. Have a great day.
Just promise me we won't die tonight. I can't have an autopsy report that reads "stomach contents: Tequila and semen."
'Twas I. Do you have any idea what it's like waking up to see you sent a text inviting someone to partake in "sexy rumpus?"
So I'm thinking that so long as I have this piercing, I'm going to get tested for explosives at the airport
just for future reference, lake water is NOT mix for hard stuff. nor is it an adequate substitute.
I'm not saying I would have to be high to sleep with him. I'm just saying it would probably help.
I don't think I've ever met a guy with a bush bad enough that I would choose a cactus over it.
He couldn't get his dick hard. So he started yelling at it. " EVERYONE is laughing at you, you piece of shit no wonder you can't get pussy" i wonder if that happens frequently I'll try again next weekend
I didn't want sex last night, but she charmed my dick out of my pants like a snake charmer.
I know you've been in hospital with meningitis, but last night I walked into a streetlight and bruised my penis so who's really suffering here
Your shirt... Was in my pants
Just found $31 in my desk drawer. In $1's. WTF happened last night?!
Randomize
