ill give you a foot job if you come over before 4
we have officially mastered the walk of shame
I asked my mother if she peed on that chair, she said "not bad" There is no good level of pee on a chair.
While you were puking in the ocean I was rubbing your back saying "Just give it back to Mother Earth".
Good news.. I found out what I did Saturday night. Bad news... I found out what I did Saturday night.
and you think what you did last night was bad? at least you didnt go wake up a sleeping guy for birthday sex.
You wouldn't know anything about the tooth on ice in my freezer would you?
and then we all passionately sang "what if god was one of us" until everyone passed out in the grass
I had to convince someone last night that the fact that he couldn't get me off wasn't him it was me and to clarify I had to tell him there was only. One person that got me off every time without fail, he said "that guy is my hero" you should be proud
His penis contains the glue that keeps this relationship together.
I'm at the local community college pretending to be a substitute for a computer applications class
I will turn myself into a beacon of get at me bro
His encouragement of my recreational drug use is the backbone of our nonrelationship. That, and rough animal sex and loud music.
I took my makeup off with mouthwash. Seemed like a good idea. It worked.
Haha! I swear, it's like I'm talking to Buddha with a slutty agenda. You are so full of wisdom.
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