he just stuck his car key in my belly button, made car starting noises and pretended like i was revving my engine?
just cuze she's 16 doesn't mean it's illegal to add her on facebook
i'm just sitting here watching hocus pocus, eating takeout, and taking self esteem quizzes online while everyone is out partying. you tell me how my night is.
I NEVER left your party last night of anyone asks.
Yeah, I didn't wake up handcuffed to my bed either.
If the blood belongs to whoever dumped glitter all over my couch than the motherfucker got what was coming to them. If not, I hope they're ok.
You're fine
I'm hiding in my chest because my walls smell weird. I'm not fine.
Also I have uncooked pasta. I was hoping that could get cooked at your place. Don't ask about the circumstances that I came into ownership of uncooked pasta
We have a bucket list tonight. Not done yet. Gotta climb a building
My code for I need help will be if I'm holding a bud light lime..
I just coughed and my vagina hurt. We need to hook up more.
My joke about liking my coffee like I like my men IS ABOUT TO COME TRUE.
Why would you trust me with ANYTHING!!!???
He poured champagne on my pussy while he ate me out. I found my unicorn.
I'm fucking my way through California and it's kind of fun.
Apparently we fucked, I kicked him out, then he came back and we did it on the coffee table and in the kitchen.
Randomize
