i guess. but if i can salvage this and still somehow see you naked i feel like that's a win
talked to my RA about stamps and mailmen again. when do you think she'll realize that i only talk to her when i'm high?
I think I just broke my ankle. I've only had one beer. I'm getting drunk before I go to the ER so it's less embarassing.
despite contrary belief, getting peanut butter off your balls is not as easy as it sounds
Life for us students isn't all fun and drunken lesbian affairs you know
Me and the guy at the liquor store are on a first name basis, college is all about networking.
It was close. I was the girl scoping out where all the garbage cans were located in the class just in case.
This is why you don't heavily drink before 2 midterms.
Can't. Busy recovering from the worst pulled muscle of my life that I got either from excessively acrobatic boning or carrying a huge fucking ice luge down the street while wearing 4 inch heels
Found out I slept with someone who likes Pitbull. I really should get to know someone better before I sleep with them.
He is asleep with his dick hanging out of my my little pony pajamas. I am required to wake this man up by blowjob
Your sexual fantasies often terrify me but get a pic
He'd rather cuddle with his shitty little miniature dog than the half naked girl in his bed. I've lost all hope for him and my vagina
Happy Father's Day to the first man I called Daddy while cumming.
I just smoked weed out of a tomahawk, then chased an armadillo with said tomahawk, I love my life.
if they didn't want us to do blow at uni, why would they make textbooks so smooth?
dude im trying to eat his ass so can you stop for 10 minutes
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