Goal for tonight: Make one last drunken mistake for the semester.
I've only left my bed to pee and eat nutella out of the jar with my fingers
I really wanna know when trying to grow up turned into try not to throw up.
Pretty sure they aren't letting me back to karaoke night after I screamed "fuck every one of you tasteless hillbillies!!" because I felt they didn't clap loud enough for Jen.
Boy did I ever crash and burn on the pickled egg pick up line.
Just successfully went through airport security with shrooms. It's gonna be a fucking awesome new years
Hey.. there are 2 people i've never met before spooning in the bathtub. Please elaborate on what went down last night.
Is it true if I say your name three times, you'll appear and whore everything up?
Wait does semen show up on blood tests?
I just remembered something. Did we really all flash the cab driver to get half off?
Like theyre better than no shoes. I'm sitting her balls naked playing xbox in nothing but crocs with the fur
I got drunk and slept with the guy who looks like Jesus.
Typical.
How do you keep manipulating these men into helping you?
I'm a massage therapist with an oral fixation. It's not nearly as hard as you make it out to be.
Yeah, it was all very half-hearted. In the middle of sex we both just stopped and looked at each other and said, "can we just sleep instead?"
That is so sad.
and that's when you shouted "ahh motherland" as you streaked down hall 4B
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