We're listening to the crystal method and doing bong hits for jesus
How are you texting me from 1998?
you should give me head with plastic fangs in
It's chlamydia! Thank God!
you're a mystery wrapped in an enigma. wrapped inside a burrito.
I remember convincing the limo driver to smoke with us and if he did I would name my first son after him.
I'm pretty sure every guy I've been with this weekend has made a solid attempt at getting me pregnant...
I know it I should, but it's kinda nice. It's smells like unbridled enthusiasm and copious amounts of melt your face off sex.
Check having sex on the rocks and dirt on the peak of saddleback mountain off my list.
I felt like a god.
I'm the man of the house if we're referring to livers.
Now I don't feel like I'm sweating cheeseburger all the time.
I'm ne vrr drinkjng againnnnnnnn dforeal.
He sent me a dick pic from a port-o-potty in Boston. If that's not love Idk what is.
ok first of all what the fuck
I'm just happy stripping was the reason you fractured your hand
It’s awful. They need to open the bars. I’m now trolling grocery stores looking for dick
Randomize
