Dude?? where did you go after Wildcats last night? Last I heard you went off with one of the girls we danced with?
Negative - This is his GF, Bobby is in Jail for a DUI. Thanks for the info.
Herpes is a lot like Arnold Schwartzenneger. Because it always comes back. Also, because it is usually in some way in control of California.
pube in her braces AGAIN. barely kept a straight face.
just walked into the room and her sister said loudly, "do him, or I will."
writing the newer testament. It's the 3rd for the series. I'll update u the rule changes later.
Giving me the bigger bowl of ramen isn't considered "romantic"
and then he tried plucking my nose hairs. lines were crossed.
corona bottle fell out of my backpack and broke in the middle of my physics midterm. yay me.
I say we start a new tradition. I came up with it all by myself. It's called work out, lay out, black out
If there was a tv show called "True Life: My 58 Year Old Dad Rolls Better J's Than Me" I'd be on it.
Can you plz delete the video of me twerking in Waffle House, my mom just got a vine.
Hatred of squirrels is the least of my hereditary problems.
Before he left he told me if his girlfriend ever finds out, she'll take us both to an alley and kill us.
Considering we're about to fuck, I really need your girlfriend to stop liking all my Facebook posts.
Give it up bro. I’m not wearing pants or a bra and only an act of god could change that
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