I want to take you away to a place of dolphin rides and hot stone massages.
I have two black x marks on my hands.
Yep you got cut off last night after a stripper bent over in front of you and you screamed very loudly 'I can see your soul from here'
damnit I wish I could remember that.
is it normal that we went to that class once and both got 100's on the final? ohhhh, arizona state.
i just complicated the hell out of my summer by fucking him this early on
She bit me. She gave me a brief pity cuddle. I gave her an awkward backrub, somehow I thought it would be a good idea to include the vagina in that. It wasn't.
We were making condiment sandwiches, then her husband kept trying to get me to sleep with her. I hate being the only lesbian at the party.
Just headbutted a photographer. This convention just got really interesting.
You kept trying to throw the grocery cart off the balcony.
So I'm thinking that so long as I have this piercing, I'm going to get tested for explosives at the airport
I was looking threw the photos on my phone. There is 8 different ones of us peeing on things.
That super awesome moment when the guy who threw up in your bed last night crawls into your roommate's bed the next morning...Naked...She was in it.
I'm facebook/twitter stalking the guy I just slept with as he's passed out next to me. What a time to be alive...
How do I tell this guy that if he does not like the condoms at my apartment, he should bring his own without sounding like a sure thing?
Say it's BYOC night at the beach. And, you are a sure thing. Own it.
In case you were wondering I realized something last night, Rick James was correct. Cocaine is a hell of a drug.
No pussy. I don't care what time of year it is you do not look tough wearing sandals. Honestly you look like a high school guidance counselor.
Randomize
