Being 21 is my favorite hobby I'm really good at it
It was like what a highfive between zeus and Jesus would sound like
he was dropping me off and i told him i had to go to the bathroom and i leaned into kiss him and he asked how i went to the bathroom with a tampon up there... he was amazed that their was a third hole...and wanted me to show him where it was
the level of his annoyance + every insult he makes = the closer I am to telling him im fucking his ex
girl in front of me at starbucks just ordered 7 shots of espresso in her latte. welcome to finals week
I just remember standing in the shower with you eating chips.
Just watched a guy fight a garbage can then pee on it, screaming "I told you to listen to me the first time!!" San Francisco, I've missed you.
She bit a glass in half.
Imagine the time you most wanted to kill yourself. Now add a room full of jail bait and no booze. Multiply that by a million.
I've ID'd the nipple biter.
They're making him take his shirt off cause they think he's the bouncer. We're in his backyard.
Whiskey chased with ice cubes? Here's a big FUCK THAT to that
I don't know how guys can take themselves seriously when they see themselves naked
Your aunt just offered to blow me for a ride home....how did you end up such a prude?
...Just hit my fuck buddy with my car.
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