Emee failed...She used my genitals as a tampon
Princeton has an emergency contraception worldwide website. It is in moments like these that I love my university
I would give away a ton of these clothes but I doubt there are any homeless people who dress as slutty as me
So the "just a friend" kid confessed his love for me...sometimes I hate how awesome I am.
just threw up nine times in the shower.. solid night last night.
Umm. Any where really. Alcohol and boobs. Those are the requirements.
we decided to do a scavenge hunt for ourself for when we walked back to our apartments. We hid taco bell behind some bushes. I think they are still good.
I'm sorry, when did "I like your shit" become an acceptable pickup line?
I woke up with hair in my teeth and half his beard was missing.
Apparently I'm not allowed to call at 3am anymore and ask to speak to all his siblings. I was just trying to get to know the family
People were staring and acting all judgmental and offended... Like they've never seen anyone breastfeed in a liquor store.
I felt like I was selling my soul to satan but then I realized I already pawned it for drug money
I HAVE DISCOVERED LONDON AND IT FILLS ME WITH JOY
Mandatory face masks - finally, a solution for lip augmentation failures and bad breath.
Walked off the dance floor to find Gabe hitting on a dad bod at the bar. It was my Dad. Awkward is an understatement.
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