so wait, they're fucking, but it doesn't count as cheating cause they only do anal?
I wasn't on board with that statement until "home made dinosaurs"
I'm way too drunk on a Sunday to handle this level of Jesus.
Sorry i'm not sorry i made out with your dad. It was father's day weekend, get a grip
Given my current decline of critical thinking and capacity for speech it's probably best u call the cops
My public calorie counter app is pretty much just a cry for help.
Just replaced the batteries in my vibrator without turning on the lights. I need to get laid.
You guys bombarded us in the bathroom and that kid whipped his dick out and peed in the sink.
I'm just gonna wear a long dress with no panties today. My pussy needs a break.
you were making out with a guy that looked like Fat Albert, I kicked you in the vagina but you didn't stop
I still can't get over the fact that he thinks I have my life together... That has to be one of the nicest yet most sadly misled things anyone has ever said about me
I think I blacked out after I decided drinking alone on the trailered jetskis was a good idea
My passport was stamped in Canada two weeks ago. One step closer to uncovering wtf happened that night
took shots off of a myriad of fake boobs last night. It was glorious.
it was awkward when he was taking off my clothes and i had to help him undo my fanny pack
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