She said as long as i don't wake her up she doesn't care what hole i use.
Got yourself a keeper right there.
Pish posh, there's never a bad time to eat food off my body.
I miss having pregnancy scares ....at least i knew i was having a good time
i sold my breathalizer so i could buy weed
just 'accidentally' changed my relationship status to 'in an open relationship' just to see what offers I might get if I were to dump him. it's not looking good
Why is everyone else growing up when I'm just crying, eating, and having pregnancy scares?
The bald eagles cry cause u drink canadian beer.
Two things: Why did I wake up in a pool of blood? And am I still invited to the wedding?
No idea. And yes be here at 4
I went to pick my brother up downtown and I stopped at a red light a homeless old man comes up knocks on the window shows me his penis and then screams money
And after that you guys started calling arbor mist "breakfast juice"
Yeah but you let me touch your butt. You're clearly the winner.
I can now say I know getting hit in the face with a flying tortilla is not fun
I bought more beer than I could carry and managed to fit it all in the fridge. It's an alcoholicmas miracle.
I'm not getting off this floor. I love this floor
So the makeout sesh? Not so great. His stubble rubbed my face raw, he tried to push me towards auto-erotic asphyxiation, and he licked my forehead. Twice.
Randomize
