just won the tropical speedo for $11. i didn't know they sold pussy magnets that cheap
Just chased the kids into the backyard with kitchen knives. Best. Babysitters. Ever.
i found out what alaskan girls practice during those six months of darkness
why did u have a candy cane hung on your dick in the first place?
she has a santa fetish
cute.
Of course it's dangerous. Why else would they hire us after we failed the drug test?
In my defense it was my birthday and I really wanted to do it.
She alternated between blowing me and feeding me bites of the sandwich she made for me.
We got jeff a deep fryer for his bday. So far the count is two potatoes and your iPod.
What's the policy for hitting on a girl at a funeral? She seems more bored than sad.
I was like a migrating bird last night. Navigating on pure instinct. Don't remember how... but I made it home.
I'm sure you're still partially crippled from thar blow job on Saturday, so I understand it's probably difficult to text.
We had sex to beyonce's "drunk in love" and then he order me pizza. It was perf
my mom snuck into my room, washed her clothes and made her breakfast. what the fuck she's a better boyfriend than I am
I'm sobbing to NWA
She's still here. My penis can feel it.
Dude, I think she left with some dude like an hour ago
FOUND HER. I swear this thing is like a metal-detector
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