i just turned barefoot contessa into a drinking game. everytime she uses a knife butter or salt i drink.
Just looked at my outgoing calls. Seems I had a 7 minute convo with my 10th grade english teacher at 2:56 am Saturday...
Don't try to dry clothes in the microwave. They'll catch on fire.
You refused to come over and kept yelling that you were gonna sleep on a car
Their car went through the first bag of wine on the drive up...clearly 6 bags was not enough.
I know. She seems like she getting that "need some dick" restlessness. Might explain the feisty attitude
The important thing is not that we avoid making mistakes, but that we avoid learning from them.
How exactly do I approach the whole "Well that was fun. Am I purchasing the Plan B or you?" topic?
Note to self: do not ride giant beanbag chair down stairs.
She needs more friends. Or a second therapist.
Next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
fond memories of taking my pregnancy test here in this Burger King
If he can't cook well I'm just gonna buy a RealDoll and twenty cats and live my own fucking life
AND HOLY SHIT FLUBBER IS ON NETFLIX
We're in a hurricane and you send me a video of you playing with your dick while driving! You wanna die?!
Randomize
