Condoms? Check. Glitter? Check. Fuck me pumps? Double check. Dignity? No where to be found. I'm about to homewreck the shit out of that dumb bitch.
I've been meaning to talk to you about your lack of self-respect these days and the toll it's taking on your vagina.
Holy jesus god. My teeth taste like street.
I'm watching Cheaper By The Dozen. I almost forgot that Hilary Duff was a really shitty actor before she was a really shitty singer.
Just tried to use the bottle of Sprite in my car as mouthwash to get the taste of puke out of my mouth- it's half vodka. Puked again. Thanks man.
I think she must be bulimic. I mean, every time I see her I know i want to throw up.
Can we please not be like these pathetic people in their thirties who only get drunk when they go see Sherrill Crow?
It was perfect I came I passed out in his comfortable bed then a glass of jack Daniels fell from the bed post and spilled all over my face
Just stole a goat. Bringing it to your house to cock block. Blame the goat not me.
U took a sewing needle to his nipple
Psshh,
We tried to hook you up with a girl but you said you'd rather fuck the large muscular black man because "At least he'd be tight". He was the bouncer, he heard you.
The only thing I remember last night was feeding my dog 4 McDoubles.
pretty sure I woke up to him jacking himself off IN MY BED
How the hell do you misplace a bag of tacos in a closet?
He poured champagne on my pussy while he ate me out. I found my unicorn.
Little girl was fucking around on the train and completely ran her head into a pole. Totally burst out laughing as she cried. Her mom was not amused. I don't think I should be a Mom. EVER.
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