What happened to our ballroom dancing plans
I just woke up in the back of his van. Bring me a sunkist.
TIT CHECK! TIT CHECK! ALERT! ALERT!!!!
she said if I bought her franzia she would blow me, and she would fuck me if I splurged on martini and rossi. Franzia it is
They have beer in plastic boots. How am I supposed to resist that?
just stole 2 cases of forties from some freshman in the woods by pretending to be a cop. that ten dollar spotlight is really turning a profit
I love you like a cupcake loves an overweight child, very similar to the mannerisms of a whole cake but personal, and minus the commitment issues, plus just the right amount of icing; not to mention the convenience of mobility, and only a smidgen of the guilt😘
He's just sitting there staring at my sisters teddy bear hoping it will come to life.
I asked if I could borrow some condoms. She referred to herself as "a soup kitchen for whores".
How do I ask where the Jello shot cups are at Walmart without sounding like white trash?
Promise me you will not let me do anything sexual with or to a mini horse no matter how drunk we get. Ever.
I'm glad our friendship can withstand laughing mid-blowjob during the diarrhea scene in Dumb & Dumber.
Okay so the couple who keep propositioning people for threeways are def siblings not bf/gf
So are you gonna do it or no you said they're hot
I don't care. It's wine Wednesday get your gameface on.
ya figured it'd be nice to explore the mythical world of sober sex i've heard so much about
i've often wondered how it works
Randomize
