I just threw up, I'm either bulemic or pregnant, and I'm now accepting bets on which it is
I drank 13 shots. Which is unlucky. Which is why i threw up.
you threw up because you drank 13 SHOTS
It was the first time I had seen his penis when it wasnt hard. It just looked so vulnerable and a little bit depressed.
Doing lines of cocaine in the bathroom and the word 'better' do not belong in the same sentence.
He took me to the bathroom in the gay bar to "just cuddle." Fool me once, shame on you. Fool me twice...well...
i just remembered that i did the "single ladies" dance ON THE BAR...fuck you slippery nipples i curse the day i discovered you
We sat in his closet and drank four loko out of my camelbak for an hour in the dark. You tell me how my night went.
I took a few sips of my hugeee bottle of liquid Vicodin and smoked my one hitter and now I'm going thru my attic like Indiana Jones
I am way too attached to fictional lesbians.
My drunken abilities have only improved since college....I can navigate the streets of chicago like no ones business, do push-ups to hail a taxi and instantly become an mma fighter after 3 shots of hennessy
Hold on. At Sephora trying to decide what despair smells like.
I think I will always strangely appreciate as well as kick ass at stoned dishes. Like for the rest of my life. Thank you slave job at Starbucks.
No just a slight sexual miscommunication which led to a little (lot) vomiting by one party and a bruised sternum on the other party involved.
I can't even make a guess how that goes.
I'm chasing my vodka with snickers.
There's a big difference between a penis and a toilet.
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