420 ftw
yesterday, he said he didn't trust me around his daughter because "if she was wrapped in rolling paper u'd smoke her." yup.
thats what you get for writing a paper after liquor pitchers
its only a rough draft.
they just started filling water ballons with vodka.
on my way.
it went ok. then he slept in a parking lot and took me out for a picnic the next day. boys are confusing.
Come on there are only so many drink coaster sizes nipples in the world
Major win last night. I traded my roommate two cigs for a six pack and a bag of beef jerky. This has been a Brian weekend update
If a handjob meant commitment I would literally touch zero dicks
He should know he can't successfully wrestle in pudding fully clothed. Amateur.
That happens a lot to the people around me. It's like I'm radioactive but instead of cancer, you get desensitized to the word cunt
I'm sorry you caught us fucking in your bathroom. If it makes you feel any better when I tried to put my pants back on I dropped them in the toilet.
So I have been told that I licked your eyebrows last night
Idk maybe I'll talk to him once he gets out of jail just to yell at him and get my strawberry ice cream back.
I have 3 bottles of vodka in my room telling me not to go to work tomorrow.
got a free grilled cheese. Didn't even have to talk about Jesus
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