It was like doing yoga with his dick in me
If it was for sex do you really think i would asking for a mass vote? I'm like fidel castro when it comes to sex. No public approval needed.
just watched paranormal activity stoned. laughed the whole time and screamed when they turned on the lights. eating doritos. I love my life
Squirrels and blue jays and dove-like things. They're just frolicking around in my backyard. I wanna be like them.
guess you're going to miss out on a groin massage and a frosty vagina
The guy i fucked last week got done first on the test in my 900 person class. If im pregnant at least it will be smart.
I don't want to talk about it but I will say, that was the best two headed $68 blowjob. Ever.
May the one with the liver that just won't quit win
He is like a dragon that makes me want to spread my butt cheeks, so he can fill me with hot fire.
I'm high, watching "Scream" and eating a grilled cheese sandwich off my boobs. I'm not going anywhere
Come on, clusterfuck. Put on a pushup bra and get your fine ass to the bar, or you will be a sad single stoner forever
when we woke up this morning she was missing two teeth. the front two.
Ex-boyfriend shit on a ping pong table at a party last night. Taking "party pooper" to a whole new level.
So congratulations, your penis has now sent me to urgent care not once, but twice!
last time we tried to watch a movie together, we ended up having really aggressive sex. during the Lion King. so what Disney classic will we be ruining this time?
I got dominos and had to stop whilst eating and take a moment of silence for how good it was
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