How do I get over judging people who I would be exactly like if I had a boyfriend
Get a boyfriend
9 am. shotgunning while conditioning my hair. i love college football season.
never thought i'd see a ''climb of shame'' until she came down from the attic in front of the whole party..
Does the blue bra belong to your sister or cousin?
high enough to want to lick peanut butter off of Michael Buble's vocal chords as he serenades me.
And some old guy told me Jesus loves me and I laughed super hard and told him sinning is fun. Hahaha
If you hit me with your dick and make light saber noises we are breaking up. I don't care if it's your birthday, you are not a sex Jedi.
So is singing the star wars theme as I put the condom on off limits?
I probably should have waited until after the game to pity fuck him. You know, seeing as we lost.
I was drunk while I accepted my job offer. Here's to growing up.
Can you please help mom and dad? Theyre trying to figure out Skype, and its like 2 cavemen finding fire.
My brother and I have had one conversation in the past like 3 weeks and it was about what it would be like as a sentient butt plug
After we'd both come, we started writing a book about dragons. Woke up this morning to a full English breakfast. Can't thank you enough for introducing us
Have you ever realized how weird it is to think that you've fucked someone and don't know what their handwriting looks like?
All of a sudden he got that look on his face and ran to the dance floor and started fist pumping to Rihanna that kind of night
Well, if you do die, I'll bedazzle your coffin.
Randomize
