I have found the one flaw to the great pride I took as a guy to not have to sit down to pee...having to sneeze while peeing.
booty call
i swear to god if you come over i will kick you in the pussy.
We have literally factored in $2200 for bail money in the budget. This vegas trip will be out of hand. We are signing confidentiality contracts.
1 month til my stepdad becomes a u.s. citizen, so if you want to get in on the divorce pool its your last chance, $5 a square.
The doctor told me if I woke up with a broken foot and don't know how it happened, I might want to look into getting treatment.
I'm currently looking on facebook to see how slutty the girls from my kindergarden class are now. I have a problem.
Yea... The gym isn't gunna happen today... When I was drunk last night I tried to prove I could front flip off the wheel cover of a semi... I fucked up my shoulder pretty bad... It was more of a roll
He gave me the choice between a threeway with his best friend or a tiny turtle. Unfortunately I chose the threeway.
I am stoned, not wearing a bra, and a woman. There is no way in fuck I am getting on a fucking bus.
The struggles of a small town man whore
On a scale of 0 to Thanksgiving, there is no amount of food that fights against tequila.
after we got done having sex, you rolled over and ask what your yelp review was. So yea I'm kinda mad.
I cannot, in good conscience, let you talk to a guy who wears Chaps and a knit beanie
No just a list of 20 of my favorite things
Where are penises on the list
Where am I on the list
Under penises
there is glitter all over my balls
Randomize
