Ran into him today. He apologized via facebook. sometimes I hate our generation
i feel like his penis is a security blanet. i cant fall asleep unless its in my hand
She was having a seizure right in front of you, and you asked, "So there's no more donuts?"
Thanks for not waking me up before the firefighters chopped down my door
I dont think a "sorry ive slept with most of your teammates" text will do much
I just want to have weird supply closet sex with him... and then I'll be all set. Fired, but all set.
I think not having bongs in close range is good for my academia
I need you to help me convince Steph that she will like Tequila if she would chase it with A-1
its kind of scaring me that i am turned on by tom cruise in rock of ages
so I'm staring at this cat and wondering..is the tail of the cat the derivative of it's head?
stop getting stoned after studying for a calc final.
Dude. I tried to hide my drunk wounds from my parents. Response: "we were young once" and "oh god, did I raise a drunk?"
You are beyond drunk wounds. You have drunk battle scars. A true veteran of the sidewalk
When I die I just want my headstone to my name, date of birth-death, and TEQUILA!!
She is getting high and watching the Hobbit. I want her life.
So she is basically watching her own life story: short people traveling to strange places.
He's got a british accent, a tounge ring, and he's wearing an eye patch... Of corse I'm fucking him
I'm not saying it wasn't great. I'm just saying sleeping with a gassy, depressed,45 year old mother was a different experience. Would do it again though.
Randomize
