so, just learned that EVERYONE heard pretty much everything last night. my roommates were surprised to learn you're a dirty talker.
You're a big dope. Life is about fighting for what you want, not accepting what you hate.
Why does tequilla always make you text me?
Last night you told her she was rocking the beer gut. Still wondering why you have that black eye?
reaaaally cool. my cat ate my birth control.
she got into med school, i feel dumb for banging her dance major friend
And then the lady sheeps would bring me the finest grass to eat cuz im the sheep king and id have sexy smooth sheep fur
Do you think you're physically and mentally capable of killing me? Because I'd really appreciate it.
Eric and I just went in the hallway to practice our new handshake in a real life situation at live speeds. That high.
I am making it a rule that only people I am comfortable around enough to not have to put a bra on are allowed for Sunday funday. I think that's a good rule for someone who started drinking alone at noon while everyone else here sipped their coffee.
I can't remember much from that party after we snapchatted my dancing boobs to all of her contacts
In case you're wondering what frozen hashbrowns taste like at 4 in the afternoon, shame. They taste like shame.
I'm filtering his penis picture so I can see it better
can you please not set my house on fire for once???
Made out with some dude at the bar last night. Was fun until he thought bohemian rhapsody was by The Who
can jess come too?
sure! but I don't have enough booze for the both of you.
she comes with her own booze, no worries.
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