I just heard a girl say "We can't go that way, it is a one way street." She was on foot...Nothing worse than girl from the midwest that move to NY to "live out their dream" -the dream of living in a rat and roach infested 200sqft for $2k a month, and get fucked by some recent Ithaca college frat grad...
i said send nudes i get bra and panties. thats not what i fucking asked for.
Remeber, hes got nothing better to offer you than drunk words and hairy balls.
Tostitos Scoops as shot glasses. Eat for chaser.
we weren't quite sure what was on that mirror, so we snorted it and hoped for the best
The usual. Woke up on a dog bed with peeps and $11.
And then the lady sheeps would bring me the finest grass to eat cuz im the sheep king and id have sexy smooth sheep fur
i have at this current moment imbibed enough alcohol to float immerse or otherwise submerge a goat of respectable size. tequila
pretty sure that drunk girl we saw climbing the stairs is now DJing this club....
Made dad pull of the highway twice on the way home so I could puke. Yeah i'd say we ended the semester well.
have to get expensive furniture. after that study abroad now at least six things at ikea are named after guys i slept with
When we asked you how you got there you replied in all seriousness, "rode my legs"
I enjoy it and I rock at it. I wish there were a respectable way to make giving blow jobs a career.
Literally too hungover to clean. I'll get the frosting off the table tomorrow, ok?
The only thing left on my Bucket List is getting fingered at an aquarium.
Randomize