is swine flu sexually transmttd?
Ha no, why?
sriously ive never had a hangovr this bad
omg he said he wants to insert his penis into my vagnia what do i say
tell him to stop quoting family guy
once he started yelling at me in latin, i wasn't sure what we were fighting about anymore...
So chef boyardee smells exactly the same after you throw it up
i literally discovered the exact same thing last week. i had the lasagna one
ravioli
I took a bird feeder and filled it with alka-seltzer. Can you say fireworks?
Change of plans I'm coming home and shotgunning all the beer we have.
Times like this, when you talk openly about Tinkerbell being your spirit animal, are times when I'm allowed to question your sexuality.
Sitting on the curb by new england comics with a weeping drunk girl who's eating french fries saying she'll never be as successful as her sister the hand model. She's scaring the nerds.
Even though he had a fractured vertebrae, the sex was still phenomenal. Better than normal actually. I hope the vertabrae never heals.
Donating $10 to Sandy victims for every hurricane I drink tomorrow. Buying me alcohol just became a good cause.
He left his phone. Turns out he;s been sexting with some girls who can't spell. Time to break out the herpes scare.
I forgot drug dealers have families, too. Cheers to a sober, uncomfortable, slightly enraging Thanksgiving.
Going back to the ever classy sneak out to the fridge and swig liquor from the bottle method. That it is legal for me to drink here makes the fact that I have to do this all the more depressing.
I found a bar with Metallica and a fire eater. I'm home
I have 35 pounds of pennies. Need any?
Randomize
