I'm calling you out on twitter if you don't come over right now.
My face smells like vagina and Im on my way to court. Fuck.
Like... Chilling at home with a movie, hang out? Or have sexual intercourse in the backseat if his car, hang out?
stop bragging. last time i got laid i got double pink eye, and it was so not worth it
You say you're gonna take rehab seriously... but i keep imagining it as a training montage for you preparing to snort all of columbia.
That actually is really sweet of you
I promised myself in the hospital that I would give up drinking for however long the cast stayed on. Thank god it was only soft tissue and not a fracture.
Totally uneven. One tiny pussy lip that almost didn't exist and one giant lip that unfurled liked 5 different times half way down her leg and could have been used to hoist the mainsail on a pirate ship.
Apparently it's bring your ugly annoying ass piece of shit slob of a baby day at work
I inhaled my own vomit, how was your night?
You fell asleep standing up against the shower wall
THIS FUCKNUGGET
DOES HE EVEN REALIZE HOW MANY INCREDIBLE INSULTS I'VE WASTED ON HIM
I'VE INSULTED THE EVERLOVING SHIT OUT OF HIM AND HE CAN'T EVEN APPRECIATE IT
THE HO
Apparently I promised everyone at the party I'd partake in various winter sports with them..
Just realized how behind i am. Will gradually increase drinking until i don't remember that i missed an entire year of class.
Did a 4 pm walk of GLORY the next day.
I brought my porn computer to class by accident
How much porn do you watch if you need a special computer?
Randomize
