I hate you but I'm not in hate with you
I DID IT WITH MY SOCKS ON!
Did you REALLY have to twitter about our sex last night?
What are you doing tonight?
Watching dora the explorer and pining for a sex life.
You guys need to get along, there is no need for a pissing contest...We're all fucking each others ex's.
She just gave me a free latte.
Correction. She just have you a frothy, creamy path to that vagina.
Is it going to be one of those nights where I shouldn't wear my contacts so everyone looks more attractive?
I feel like this has turned into my work. But if I get paid sitting under a desk, that's perfectly fine with me.
Dude true life I died at the derby...I lost everyone I knew, went down a bourbon and mud slip and slide, lost my hat, fell off the roof of a porta potty, sprained my ankle and knee and then got arrested.
Like what did he say to his host family? The girl I causally sleep with on the weekends is coming over?! And they thought "well lets feed her dinner"
Awareness is good for change and all, but ignorance is bliss. I like bliss.
You don't have issues. You're a consenting adult having sex at work. Go you.
Why is it I can't go buy redbull and tylenol pm from a store without getting questions about my health choices?
Your pictures have evolved a lot over the years but I think your angry dick pic phase was one of my favorites
I took out a life ins. policy Thursday. It's okay I can die in Nashville now.
Randomize
