Me liking this guy is the best diet ever. Do I want this cookie...or do I want to get laid.
can you buy anything in the cafeteria for less than $2? I spent the last of my laundry money on a chia pet
sooo my mom just yelled up the stairs " you left your bowl down by the computer"....aaand for a second I forgot cereal bowls still existed
He had the smallest penis i'd ever seen. I can see why he drinks his life away.
found her sleeping in the closet. woke her up and she said she was camping.
You SHOULD feel empty, we were at the top of our game, and by that i mean snorting things we don't understand and only a few steps away from adultery.
I never thought that taking apart multiple age 5 and under puzzles would be part of my house party clean up process.
Yeah, sorry about that. I just couldn't stop.
I really can't get over how proud I am of all us getting laid at the same time in the same apartment
The bartender gave me the kids toys. Paddle ball & a gecko.
I wasn't concerned until I realized he was using the vase my birthday flowers came in as a " big glass" for his 151 and coke.
We found Mulan.
I thought you were in bed what the hell
Yeah, first date. First take a pic of him to circulate around for your friends and than have him fill out a short penis questionnaire. Seems completely legit to me.
Your boobs stole my birthday thunder!
no it was
but you compared your dick to a female disney character
Make me food? I don't want to be a science experiment. I'm dunk. Holy shit. Drunk*. Let's do science.
Randomize
