I really love her but I don't think I can go the rest of my life without anal.
I cant wait for the day that I tell my daughter I named her after my favorite porn star.
Im making the walk of shame with half a box of pizza, its like when youre little and you get a goodie bag leaving the party
We have sex, then he cooks. It's like a fantasy.
she wants me to meet her parents and she hasn't even met my penis yet.
I need to stop sleeping with republicans and cowboys fans.
We were messing around at his place it was going fine until he said, "I'm going to cum, hand me the shot glass"
You were dancing with a coffee pot of rum in one hand and a joint in the other. So that should explain everything.
He was wearing a tux and a big sombrero so it automatically made the flute he was playing totally cool
Imagine cans of beer raining. Like not hitting you and hurting you. Just gently falling into your hand whenever you're sad
Blah blah blah. Just come home and put a baby in me.
I think I should just be a madame. Fuck it.
I'm just gonna post fliers on telephone poles like, "who wantsta be a hooooooe?!"
I legit just quacked out loud at a duck on campus. Realized after that there were people around me, they looked at me funny...
I don't think he knows you can have sex sober...
Are we at that level of friendship where we can share slutty stories and not hold it against the other person at a later date ?
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