look no pants
im over her. I got weed and youtube. everything i could ever ask for.
I'll go out only because I know the starving children in third-world countries would frown upon us if we let an hour of free sangria go to waste...
After the tests come back negative, you guys will look back on this evening with fond memories...
I feel like I shouldn't be doing my banking stoned. But I bought a new bowl. Her name is Sharpe. Pronounced Shar-Pay.
You insisted on drinking champagne out of the dog bowl
My roommate's all sad and is crying and the chick I want to bang is in the room and Nic Cage is on fire. What the fuck.
having someone tell me to "prepare my vagina" is not really something I want to hear..
My knee is bleeding. This cheeseburger is the 3rd thing I made out with today and I think I got a job with the ducks. Catalina is poppin
Bro, she used the potato bongs to make French fries after. She's deff a keeper.
Nothing says I've got my life together like vomiting on the groom and passing out at your youngests sisters wedding
Nothing with ever convince me that she wasnt purposely left behind by our mother to ruin my life and fuck our family
He sent me a blank text message. That's a booty call waiting to happen
Ya that dick wasn't worth burning a perfectly good pizza.
You live and learn.
Dude I had my dad cock block me once
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