I'm just sayin u wanted to sleep after ur paper. I can make u sleep
David Carradine died? Should I be thinking about this 10 min before my interview?
Haha just ref him when they ask a questin about kung fu which they will since ur Asian
Oh, I made pasta salad in the throw up bowl. I hope you don't need that for the next few days.
She said my main job as maid of honor is to ensure the groom doesn't find out that each of his seven groomsmen has had his penis inside her.
If she wants to think that freshman 15 means sleeping with 15 guys than so be it I just gotta make sure I'm one of them.
Currently flirting with a 57 year old. Why do i do this
My bed became a clown car for his family....I'm not ready to get married
Dude it started out with let's find some food and ended up with me getting a needle in the face
Let's paint friendship bongs
I don't think everyone found it as funny as I did... Nothing says "Party's Over" like the sound of a pump action shotgun.
The neighbor just yelled bring me back that big red alien penis.
The girl neighbor.
Can I just say how funny it is that your "respect" tattoo is right above the bruise from me slapping your ass
On a scale of "huh, that's interesting" to "holy porn stars, batman". How good?
Definitely closer to "holy porn stars, batman".
I think i just made eye contact with his roommate... while doing reverse cowgirl. Yup i have no shamee
It’s bad enough my brother slept with half of the sorority this year, but now he’s lifeguarding at the club and every divorcée and cougar in town is asking me for his number. My twin is a manwhore and I’ve become his pimp.
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