Grilled cheese is the best thing. ever. better than boys, and alcohol, and sex, and chocolate, and money. But not really the last two.
i just heard a guy call his kid "Google" in a way that leads me to believe that's his name. this day couldn't get worse.
So theres a slight possibility i may not graduate according to planned because i was out getting laid instead of studying. And im okay with that.
Just met a girl...She is complaining why on facebook you can't have more then one "open relationship"
I dont know how i feel about her from a moral standpoint...
all i remember was you yelling "look at my little feet" at everyone on the way home from the bar.
To tired for the bar. Came home and drank wine out of the bottle. Kind of don't want to know what that says about my life.
Currently getting "blaow" buzzed into my pubes. How's your thursday?
Sorry my hands just texted you
Whoever owns the butter that i always steal out of the office fridge definitely put THC butter in there this time. Shit just got real.
It's nice out. . But after I almost put a bag of chips in the microwave to make nachos. ..I figured it best to not venture too far from the couch
Update. A gay dude just told me I'm the most beautiful thing with a vagina he as ever seen. How should I feel about this?
she used her teeth again, but this time it was out of love
It's beautiful. It's what jesusxwants. I should send you a pic of my boobs out of friendship
Just FYI: if you happen to notice a liquid of some sort on my kitchen counter with an interesting color/ texture, don't taste it
Fuck this pandemic. She grabbed the hand sanitizer instead of the hand lotion while giving me a hand job and now my dick is burning and scrotum are on fire
A hand job? Are you 12?
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