The elaphant ear plant popped a new leaf ! Wahoo !
I saw her while sober, and she is definately cut off from the penis ride
We are allowed to think Jacob from Twilight is hot in 468 days!
I don't know what is sadder, the fact that you figured that out or the fact that I can't wait until then!!
Sex and the city 2 and twilight getting released in the same month. God hates mankind.
I could see myself reflected in his wedding band as i was going down on him.
So I totally just remembered that you tried to smoke a hornet out of it's nest.
When you get home there will be live fish in the bathtub. I did not put live fish in the bathtub.
I'm still drunk. it's summer. I just need a hot dog and an aspirin.
I'm at a nursing home getting weed. Lol when times are tough, things tend to get a lil weird
Hostess is going out of business we'll never survive the apocalypse
Like wrapping my dick in silk, wrapping that in velvet, and putting it in a cloud. A warm, tight, wet cloud.
Just blowing bubbles with my nipple rings in my shower.
You always make things weird.
dropping lines from Workaholics has slowly become my icebreaker when hitting on girls. who would have thought "lets get weird" would cause girls to actually get weird
I JUST GOT WOKEN UP TO HIM PISSING ON ME SAYING "IT HAS TO HAVE WATER TO GO TO THE BATHROOM" AND AFTER HE FINISHED HE DIDNT REMEMBER DOING IT
You can help me! We'll make an occasion of it. Have some rum, make some smores, condemn the email system to the pits of hell...
Randomize
