Should I be offended if he asked if he could use saran wrap to eat me out?
I'm glad you talked me out of that flying penis tattoo.
I'm reading about reasons for wearing clothing. IS THIS COLLEGE OR PRESCHOOL?
Anything that's based on a blow job I'm in favor of.
I just made Jack Daniels snow cones.
im just going to wait until i dont feel like the grim reaper is having sex with me
I was just expressing concern for your pickle consumption.
I said I usually like going out for coffee before torturing someone's genitals. He said he understood.
Apparently we were arguing for captain seats so I shouted "who has your virginity." I got the seat.
In a strange taxi 3059. Battery dying I'm dying. Bye.
Only you would have to block the fucking governor of Tennessee from reading your tweets
I need a new pic for your contact id. Because your boobs popping up when I'm having dinner with my grandma or, ya know, when kids have my phone isn't so good.
I just imagined you going baby-crazy and trying to shove him up into your uterus. Yes, I'm aware he's 7 years old.
I Have a huge scrape on my knee and I need a better excuse than dry humping on a park bench...
There are condoms rolled onto each bunny ear of the ears I was wearing last night
Randomize
