Bitch is talking to much, howd u ever get her 2 shut up?
It's worth it.
How worth it?
Back door worth it
So dude, she and I just got done having the most amazing sex, and then she rolled over and said that "lets make some tacos" and proceeded to the kitchen... naked... I'm buying the ring tomorrow
Even the French judge on the olympics would give that a 10
I don't appreciate the fact that you tagged me as a giant bucket Miracle Whip.
you can think of my virginity as your little souveneir from our relationship.
Someone took a picture of their balls on my phone last night. BEAUTIFUL PACKAGE. I will find this man.
I couldn't get past the raccoon on my porch so i slept on my lawn.
My apartment smells like a lavender field inside of a giant bong.
Do you know how hard it is to be while you're high with a chuck Norris poster in the bathroom?
May or may not have just put tequila in my special "kids+" orange juice fortified with vitamins a, b, c, d, e, and now t.
We stopped mid-sex and both shotgunned a beer then got back to it. Is this what love feels like?
He got in a shopping cart outside of home depot and insisted we push him down a flight of stairs. For science.
I just bought a blender and 120 pizza rolls. Bring tequila.
Is it weird that I'm mad at my boss because he isn't paying me enough attention? Maybe my dad issues are worse than I thought
WHY HAVE SO MANY THING GONE IN MY BUTT ON THIS TRIP
Rationing the toilet paper. Only one wipe allowed. I'm scared to move too much.
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