I just hope this isn't happening Final Destination style
Travis Barker would totally be Devon Sawa in this scenario
Yeah not really sure what I said but I remember "douchebag" and "fuck your own face"
To a 70 year old lady?!
i just ate an entire onion plain. all alone. i have never felt more single in my life
the liquor store owner came out from behind the counter and kissed my cheek when he saw that i am back for fall semester
i just drank the rest of the vodka . Btw why did we put candy corn in it?
ugh i can't even wear this perfume anymore. it just brings back blurry memories of blowjobs and regret.
I drunk dialed my ex-boyfriend last night. He was sitting next to my new boyfriend. Shoot me in the face.
That was the apt with beer in the juice and the floor caving in. Don't go.
The only image of you you know is from reflections or pictures. Its 2d. But what other people see is 3d. How do you know that's your real face! MIND.BLOWN.
with a cock that big I don't even care that he makes a convincing drag queen
About to throw up, bathroom line up, Bro sees me. Yells, 'PUKER GET OUT OF WAY' THEY ALL PARTED WAY THREW ME INTO A STALL AND CHEERED AS I THREW UP INTO THE TOILET. we are going back
Well then she has to know whoever you were kissing was in overalls because that's not a detail you just leave out.
There's always a silver lining when massive voluptuous tits are involved
Dude, he paid us overtime to smoke weed out of a bong at his house
You tipped the Uber driver extra for taking your phone away while you were drunk texting
Randomize
