you are the weird ass hat to my lady gaga
you kept screaming i cant feel my vagina, it kinda killed the mood.
I'm hiding behind a bush in mens clothing next to a ducks crossing sign. There are joggers. Please hurry.
We had sex after spending two hours in the drunk tank. It was really deep and meaningful
Just drove through Taco Johns wearing a drug rug and no pants. When I rolled down my window, the girl paused for a minute before saying "um... 4.07"
looking back it was a good thing we were too wasted to fire up the chainsaw
Everyone looked at me like I just fucked a gopher and was wearing it like a hat
I chugged a beer while I was riding him and he told me it was the sexiest thing he has ever seen. this guy knows class when he sees it.
Puked in the trees at home depot, I told everyone it was fertilizeerr
I get hit on by the prison guards every time i go to see him. Seriously.
Oh god. Just tried to hail a pizza delivery car. Awkward.
International sake day = success
She called it a palate cleanser. She and her friend dike it out once a year before returning to dick
Together or do they pick up? How far do they go? IS AN AUDIENCE PERMITTED? GODAMIT ANSWERS MAN!!!!!!
Would you please stop exposing your tits on my couch?
Fuck you, my tits are fabulous
My neighbor came out@4am in a pink nite gown n clotheslined a punk on a mo-ped w/her mop handle, then just walked back in her house like she just checked the mail. MILF 1 PUNK 0
He's eating me out right now. That's how bad he is.
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