hey sry I lost all my numbers who is this?
pat the guy you slept with
still need a last name
there were at least 5 of us standing around the bathroom stall cheering you on to throw up.
I think he'd cut a tree down for me. He's from North Dakota. That's something hot guys do there, right?
I love waking up with his head head between my legs, it makes me feel special
I love you, but you should know I'll always ditch you for weed.
He wants a "vagina fling" before he commits to dick for life. I'm gonna allow it.
He just told me the blow job I gave him was like a journey
You were face down in the punch bowl, humming the theme to jaws
That explains the stains on my shirt
Was it just me or did you also find it awkward when "glad you came" started playing on pandora right after you finished?
Sometimes I feel like I should become a beautician purely for my ability to shave pretty shapes into my pubic hair.
STONER SAFETY TIP: don't use the driver's side vanity mirror to check how red your eyes are while you're driving. it won't work. trust me.
Dude I bought tampons with cardboard applicators by accident and now I know my vagina hates the 1960s
million dollar idea: razor dispensers in bar bathrooms. your welcome, girls who didn't think they were getting laid tonight.
I've seen your dick too many times for both of us to be straight.
I hate waking up to a room that reeks of bad decisions...
Randomize
