so I think I'm done having sex with her, she's way too crazy
what about the blowjobs for adderall?
no those are still okay
i think it would be like really awesome if scientist could genetically engineer manatees to be like the size of goldfish so i could have one in my fishbowl and be like FUCK YEAH TINY MANATEE
a search helicopter?!
I swear if it wasn't for meeting for drug dealers @ gas stations, i would never remember to get gas.
Next time I say "Watch this" Get me the fuck out of the bar.
Taped crackers to the wall. Sat I'n the dryer. Bobby had to pull me out by my hair. No more.
Got hereat 8. Had 6 beers 2 shots and a game of diZZY BATOS
whoever brushed my teeth and whitened them while i was passed out, thanks.
we didn't have anything to do and wanted to get our money's worth out of our costumes, so if you see two mermaids day drinking by the creek it's us
Found a grenade pin. Still no Dave.
I woke up this morning to my house being turned into a bad European dance club at 8:30am. Do you know what "UNS UNS UNS" sounds like at 8:30am? Murder. It sounds like murder.
Crying on the toilet and taking a shit. This is what being an adult is about
Just keep me informed about your plans. That way i can figure out places to go and if i need to shave my balls
I got a message the other day that just said “great tits”
A gentleman AND a scholar
i have a serious question for you... Why I am i not wearing any pants?
Randomize
