I guess there's a 50 percent chance that it was her that wet my bed.
WHO ATE OUR COOKIES WHAT THE FUCK THOSE WERE GOURMET
wait so...it's like an actual thing to masturbate using the detachable shower head? WTF I thought I was being creative!
Hahaha alright after 5 shots I'm not allowed to touch glass or boys with girlfriends.
Mmmhmmm sure, nice try, but there's certain wounds that only bj's can heal
gave you a haircut while you slept. Please don't kill me.
Your lower body and my face have had way too much contact lately.
You are number one in my heart. But in the dick Olympics you're disqualified.
It wasn't so much a one night stand as much as one night she puked on my nightstand.
I can only only sleep there on nights I orgasm cause he snores so loud and if he leaves me hanging one more time ill probably cut off his dick from lack of sleep and frustration
I can always see lesbian subplot. It's my hero ability.
It probably would have happened but I just can't picture myself losing my virginity while laying on top of his Quiksilver duvet set.
I think my body knows it's dying and is just shutting down
We could probably bang our way to enlightenment. However acid helps.
i just sneezed the second i jizzed and it got in my eye. words can't describe how much i hate life right now.
Randomize
