I woke up (not at home) to find out I kissed Ryan Caberra, flashed for free gumbys and carried around an inflatable moose named Johnson. Great success.
went to library to start paper due tomorrow & took those orange addys u gave. now realizing they were ur xanax. completely fucked and going to fail, but calmly at peace with the situation.
PS, you're not being slutty, you're "making dreams true."
"Not only do I bring a guy back to my hotel room....But I bring one back for my friend who's passed out drunk. Now that's what we call BESTfriends"
I don't really see how asking you not to cum on my face or hair makes me high maintenance
My love will cover her like lulu lemon yoga pants. Casually supportive and always complimenting your Ass.
I fucking love your mom. She's so drunk and fully functional. I aspire to be her one day.
Ive fucked up. im like a feral dog rabidly chasing an infrequent dream amidst a cataclysm of disaster
he said we should drink responsibly and we all just kinda sat there laughing at him
Ordered a pizza stoned. The guy handed me my pizza and I tried to pay him by handing him back the pizza.
I explained to him that me turning straight is a once a year thing. And this boy just happens to be the chosen one.
You ask to touch his thighs ten times and called them magnificent.....need I say more
last night I used snow as a chaser
Why do my weekends always degenerate into using my little brothers childrens board games for drinking games?
And I broke things off with Justin last night. Except I texted him while he was asleep and then I was like well, that's probably not what he wants to wake up to, so I sent him a picture of the coconut I microwaved and caught on fire when I was really high one time.
Randomize
