Stoned at DSW. SO MANY SHOES! THEY'RE FREAKING ME OUT.
Let's just say there is a bloody hand print above my bed and it's not mine. Literally.
all I know is if I don't watch spice world right now there will be a firefight.
I totally understand Scottish logic. No underwear+skirt=great
You remember correctly you did get a golf cart ride out but it wasnt because you were special. You were so smashed you were screaming tiger at random golfers in the middle of there backswing.
i don't think my family understands the severity of a twenty first birthday.
Is it sad that I just used my electrical knowledge to not only fix but improve my vibrator?
Bathrooms are cool, I think Im just gonna hang out here for a bit.
He was ugly. Like horse ugly. But he was built for power, not for speed.
I feel like letting the same guy who shot him dig the pellet out of his leg with a pocket knife was the bigger mistake
What happens at the gay bar stays at the gay bar. Except that I sold my panties for $100. People should know that.
YOU'RE HIGH AND AT THE GYM OF COURSE YOU FEEL WEIRD
My thighs feel like glass
Called Apple, my penis pics are safe.
It's 7am. I'm sitting on the curb in last nights clothes with a nose bleed and no idea how to get home. Low moment I feel.
I'm sorry my shit is everywhere... I accidentally got drunk while packing
Randomize
