I'm at the bar with Ashley what should I do?
humiliate her
I thought it was weird that her dad told me to finish and get out after he walked in on us. I like him
It's all fun and games until the last slice of pizza gets bong water spilled on it.
Fun fact: Antibacterial soap will not take the combined smell of bbq sauce and vagina off your hands.
I don't think I own any pants that haven't seen his bedroom floor anymore...
Just took 4 secret shots in his bathroom to not remember him naked.
woke up outside on the porch naked surrounded by beer cans with a towl around my neck. i must be in heaven cause i've never seen this place before.
New favorite drinking game: bobbing for jello shots. Where did these freshmen come from and when can we go there?
Remind me not to get naked underneath a tree I'm allergic to again.
Think of it this way, instead of a puppy, we're getting a baby.
I hate being the only medical professional in the group. I always end up patching you guys or being the DD when I'm on call. I have problems I need to drown in booze too...
I was weirded out when the chunky goth girl and her boyfriend both started eyeing me and wanted to by me a drink.
YOU BETTER TOUCH MY NIPPLES TODAY
Please don't think I'm weird for texting you this at 12:08 am but I just found another picture on the Internet where I think you can see his dick through whatever he's wearing
Used my power pack to charge my vibrator so I didn't have to unplug my switch or my galaxy lamp. TECHNOLOGY!
Randomize
