she was bad bro. like...id rather put my dick in a blender. twice.
There is a guy standing at my bar right now wearing an affliction SUIT. I can't wait on him.
We were playing flip cup on the nice dining room table. Losing team had to shamwow the table in between rounds
I think her nose is broken... but I think she's just drunk enough to fall for the whole "sex releases endorphins, so it'll feel better" line.
after giving each other head, we had a really nice post-oral heart to heart. found out he lost his virginity in a threesome.
Numbies before the dentist, such a good idea.
the bouncer watched the girl drop her ID, saw me pick it up and say OMG SHE LOOKS LIKE ME, and then let me use it to get into the bar
I've awoken at 3am again, in a night terror, just thinking about how big his dick was.
When hitting a Woodchuck bottle with a machete, glass will fly back and cut your face.
I hope you did not try this.
Would it be bad if I bought her bread, meat, cheese, and stuff as her christmas present so she can make me a sandwich?
Mixed review. I fucked her in the river, but then we were assaulted by ducks.
The worst part about getting "creative" and by that i mean baked is that i just wanna get laid right now and all im doing is eating nachos
LIKE ALL I WANT TO CURE MY HANGOVER IS PORKROLL AND LIKE 85% OF THIS COUNTRY DOESN'T KNOW WHAT IT IS
I almost stopped mid bj to let him know I appreciated his balls being nice to look at/have my face near. But I didn't know if that would ruin, or improve the moment.
You’re sleeping on my couch so you’re not making dick appointments tonight
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