I got to see an enormous amount of vagina this morning.
don't thank me. stop putting your penis in foreign objects.
i just looked at my contacts and realized i saved the pizza hut girl's number as "fckucin pizza" the other night.
I can't go out tonight. I feel like I'm starting to party as much as Farrah on Teen Mom.
I just realized I used lady gaga lyrics in my research paper on marie antoinette
What can I say, we hook up during the holidays.. We're a seasonal couple
the cops didn't wanna shut the tailgate down but the strippers weren't allowed to take money without a license or somthing
The TA leading my study session just said "now get outta here. I need to get drunk before class"
Your cousin just asked the bartender to start a round of vagina shots. Not body shots. Vagina shots. We're taking her out more often.
Hey.. Here's a thought for the evening. There's only two more sleeps until I fuck you so hard my back teeth will convulse.. Here's too Tuesday! Woohooooo
So I'm thinking that so long as I have this piercing, I'm going to get tested for explosives at the airport
A stripper just invited me to her daughter's birthday. Where did my life go wrong?
Is this what it's like to be an adult? You plan out play dates for your vagina?
Hella random but just hear me out...A bar that is a petting zoo. Bitches love petting zoos.
OMG. When you threw the used condom on your floor you threw it in my purse!!! I just went to grab my headphones and it was stuck to them!
Randomize
