Worst part was I had to fart super bad and didn't want to ruin the room so I farted in a pillow and threw it under the bed.
Legit screaming match in this bar over the differences between cupcakes and muffins.
he was fingering me, then looked down and said "i like your socks"
But please don't judge me if i smell like mustard
I forgot if I was chewing my gum or my tongue
It was his birthday and he drunkenly offered me Portillo's and diamonds in exchange for a snap chat of my boobs. Even sober it seemed like a good idea at 3 in the morning.
My vagina is screaming your name . Wtf did you do to it
He facetimed with his son when he was still inside of me. If that's not a dedicated dad I don't know what is
We single women of America need to make America great again by refusing to fuck anyone who supports Trump.
I don't think I'll get invited back. I drunkenly told her that her kids would be perfect for a pro-abortion campaign.
I hate who I am becoming
I think of it as growth but I also hate who I am becoming as well
Sometimes self-care is taking a shot of vodka and moving on.
OF COURSE I NEED TO KNOW I MUST KNOW EVERYTHING
YOU ARE NOT OMNIPOTENT AND YOU HAVE TO DEAL WITH THAT
I AM OMNIPOTENT AND YOU HAVE TO DEAL WITH THAT
wheres my face? and why is my pocket so big?
Tell her that we understand the angle wasn't the best on the first video and that we forgive her.
Randomize
