I think horse shit smells the best of all shits.
I miss him.. What the hell did I get myself in to? I guess it will get better with time.
No. Just liquor. Time's no good.
also: i found my "nug jug", actually the baby did, but either way it got returned to its rightful owner
In the UK. Bar special, every drink costs a pound. I'm two shots away from being deported. God save the queen.
I have a scary feeling my mom might switch her goals from finding me a husband in 2012 to sending me to rehab
I asked if he wants to help me spring forward at 2am on Sunday. He seems down.
You peed on someones bathroom floor while saying people are rude for not flushing
I would love a rich wife. Then I would be like a gym teacher or some shit. Bigfoot hunter maybe.
I woke up with a massive hangover and realized I still had an entire bottle of tequila in my car...so yeah, working on tomorrow's hangover.
Also the fuck cup must be buried with me
I am putting together a break up mix and its pretty much the best of Phil Collins
Leave it to me and my dad to puke on the same guy at the same bar 25 years apart
In Texas. Drank way too much wine. Puked in a gallon zip lock bag. Passed out at 445 with the ENTIRE family here. Got up at 745 in time for dinner. I made you proud!!!
I've scurried myself in your trunk come find me in the morning
Lunch date was a success. And you'll be proud- my legs stayed closed.
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