i just pooped in tubberware. not a proud day
You're only the seventh guy she's ever kissed. Somesones gunna get EPICALLY stalked
I just cleaned my sheets and decided to do a black light test. My headboard is a masterpiece.
i wish i could google "things to eat in my fridge" so i wouldnt have to go downstairs and be disappointed
Seriously. My exes act like they own shares of my vagina.
Well, in their defense, they have invested a lot of time and money
yeah you're probably right.. i should stop equating love with getting naked on a webcam for him.
btw when he was trying to sleep i was apparently poking him in the face w my 'flipper' slurring random manatee facts
I was just tagged in a picture with a bunch of people i don't know in a house i don't recognize wearing a purple cowboy hat and a boa...i hate tequila
it only took 2 hours but we managed to melt the purity ring down with a butane torch
You've been drinking wine and eating bacon all afternoon. HOW IS THAT DOING GOOD?!?!
he just gave me a love letter in polish. he thinks i speak polish. I DONT SPEAK POLISH
He goes "hi, free today?" WHEN AM I EVER FREE ON A SATURDAY, I GOT HUNGOVER TO BE AND DRUNK TO GET.
The cops wrote boobs in the police report. ...vandalism is our calling
When I type "sleep" my phone suggests "with Trevor". My phones an asshole.
He kept telling me my vagina was a pleasure cave... I ended up just taking it as a complimetn
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