So does your leg always twitch violently when someone plays with your clitoris? Or has my ten years of piano playing finally paid off?
Some guy shouted fuck america during the national anthem, i decked him. They threw him out. USA USA USA!
Just transferred the sun chips from that obnoxious Eco-friendly bag into a zip lock. Fuck the environment, that bag is loud.
The doctor said 'youre the 2nd youngest person that ive seen with this condition. Thats probably not the silver medal you were looking for today.'
She came back in her actual cheerleader uniform. Made a bad bj tolerable.
Found him fucking some random drunk chick in the bathrrom at the blue lep with a beer in each hand. had to give him props.
Sorry about all of the penis things that happened last night.
Yeah I'm at work. Nothing like the threat of blowing chunks on passing cars to make you feel alive.
I lost my vibrator temporarily and for some unknown reason my first thought was that you might have stolen it. But then I realized you would never do that because you know it keeps me from killing people. But I am overtired and lacking in faith.
P.s. I loved that your balls smelled like coconut
He slapped my ass... He best ask me out. Or figure out how to unslap my ass.
THIS IS SO HOT. BYE PANTIES.
We were having sex but then he spanked me and i punched him but it was just a reflex i swear
dude kate found out i cheated and busted in while i was taking a shit. I was cornered, nothing i could do
so drinking tonight?
Be there in 15
just saw two mice fucking on our bed...i think its time to find a new place to live
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