It just feels so wrong throwing away the condoms into her Hello Kitty trashcan
I knew I shouldn't have slept with her...my dick looks like a stegosaurus tail
Last night was epic. Hooked up with Emma Watson, found twenty bucks, and then passed out on my floor.
No you didn't. You drank unbelievable amounts of 151, passed out in someone else's bathroom, and we carried you back to your floor. Nice dreams though.
we couldnt tell if he was gay so we started working glee quotes into the conversation to see if he noticed.
The straight man in me wants to hit on her. But the gay man in me wants to compliment her on her awesome outfit.
but then the words kidney pain and possible testicle shrinkage kept ringing in my head
I will come to your office dressed as a bloody mary, hug you then leave is that a good plan?
yes. bring a barf bucket too. just. in. case.
Haha, oh man. I'm awake now. Slept in my headdress.
Things are burning & the world smells of peanut butter. It's beautiful.
I'm sorry, you might have to start setting aside some time in your day for my pussy.
Tequila, beer, rum, gin, and vodka all mixed in my body last night. The whole "never turn down free booze" is catching up to me. Hungover = understatement of the year.
You missed the winter stoner olympics last night....I got the gold in blunt rolling
She brought me back a blanket from Mexico, then we had sex on it
He sent me a picture of his dick as a snake, I'd say things are going great.
I know. His dick was small at the top and got bigger at the bottom, like a fucking curling wand.
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