Dude she looked like Jerry Garcia's knuckles
do you think they make care bear costumes for cats?
Hows this for an invention: a toilet that weighs your poop
Going to Kmart high is like jumping in a time machine back to the 80s
I mistook a propane tank for a keg.
told weddin planner we wanted to work in ceremonial body shots before vows. she hasnt reponded yet...
there are some nice people on this island. free ride free pancakes and they even prayed for us when they dropped us off
Why is there a muffler in the livingroom?
First, I just want to say that I had nothing to do with it. Second, how good is your car insurance?
Our apt smells like hot shit marinated in oregano and cumin. No more taco truck dinner, fuck face. The wall paper is peeling.
All three of my roommates have their significant others over. We're all hanging out in the living room. It's like I'm the trifecta of third-wheeling
It's 11:13am and my chem prof is drinking a beer in class. I guess finals week is stressful for them too
My roommate is downstairs drunk, smoking, and listening to a self help DVD. Please dear God don't let this be the Ghost of Christmas Future.
Have you ever had to act sober and talk to an authority figure in a coconut bra? Because it is just as degrading as you would imagine.
"This is Emily. She likes potatoes. And sometimes laughs and cries at the same time, and has a wonderful butt"
It's been THREE DAYS. Why do I still have the munchies?!
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