I need to shower the guilt off of my thighs.
We stole your phone last night, texted your brother and told him you wanted it up the ass by him. All he said was "I want ur money."
I maybe just had sex outside in broad daylight. At a state park. Please be proud.
It was a sobriety test blowjob. If he could get it up, he could get me home.
He just asked for the blowjob I promised him 3 years ago that he'd get the next time Michigan beat Ohio State. Goddamnit.
Dude. He put me on a rewards point system for his dick. I have to do him favors now to build up to winning sex. This is shit.
I flashed a party boat full of Asians yesterday, didn't I?
No really tho I'm wearing a chucky cheese shirt and yoga pants. If that doesn't scream no sex idk what does
Just to prove a point, she called and ordered a pizza 10 min before she ordered the blow and it still got here first. I may never leave LA.
I told you!!! And that is why he's the drug dealer to the stars.
i just found my fake in the snow. LIFE IS AWESOME
For the first time in my life, I may be the most normal person in the room.
Update: I am definitely the most normal person in this room. And the least tattooed.
The candles are lit, the magic circle is drawn, now all we need to do is get naked and see how many orgasms we can manage.
We need some Captain and Fanta. That shit will change your life. Sidenote, bring an IV drip to hook me to in the morning
At the light, his mom pulled up next to us while I was giving him road head. He forgot to tell me she was meeting us at the movie. So long story short, I convinced her I drove myself, pick me up in 20.
so i went to the bathroom and my thong was on sideways... i guess that solves the mystery
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