I thought you said his peep was too small
it is but i have no money and nothing is on tv until 7 when americas next top model comes on.
I just google mapped his house on satellite so i can really see how much money he has. Does that make me shallow?
she called me screaming that i shouldn't ignore her phone calls, because she's not trying to get me to hang out with her and she doesn't want to be my girlfriend, she just wants sex.
what did you do?
i asked her out. that's so hot.
Can you tell me we didn't drink from a fish bowl we found in the bathroom last night? I know it would be a lie; I just need to hear it.
So some girl kept staring at me and giving me these weird looks. That's when I realized she could probably hear the Mulan soundtrack playing on my iPod...
Brutally Honest is my real middle name, Princess just sounds better.
we were so high we made up an elaborate backstory because we were paranoid about going into the wig shop w/o being serious wig shoppers
so today in my theology class we brought up the proper way to have sex. so rough sex was said by the teacher...I said I know a girl that likes to be choked. sorry but everyone knew it was you
while being fingered today, I was told I have an abnormally deep g-spot. Now you know, I am a size queen because of SCIENCE.
The chips are stabbing my teeth, and I can feel the muscle under my mouth contracting.
Just realized how sopa could affect my ability to watch porn, son of a bitch
Claiming territory at this party means signing a girls ass...I've got dibs on a blonde
Next time we include dessert condiments into our sex life we can fuck up my sheets. It's only fair.
he pulled my tampon string out with his teeth like a grenade pin yelling frag out! That's why I fuck guys back from deployment. They'll go the distance
I don't trust him but hanging out with him might be fun
he's literally satan but yeah probably
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