We were both sleeping and she woke up and just puked i feel so bad for everyone around us
I think east. Tornado watch. What the fuck are you doing in Texarkana?
Bonnaroo. Tornado watch? Expand on that thought.
Watch for tornadoes.
who the fuck tagged pancake nipples on my profile picture?
we talked about european history as he fucked me from behind in the shower... i think it was a success
you stole their roomba and ran out the door so that you could 'set it free'.
we found you passed out on lawn and the roomba bouncing back and forth on the sidewalk.
he had a TATTOO on his FACE. a tattoo on your face basically says "i've gone as far in society as i'd like to."
DO NOT FUCK HIM ON MY BEAN BAG CHAIR
votre penis est TRES GRAND. i used vous because your penis is SO big
Water skiing blazed is the most scary thing I've ever done.
He told me he wanted to sober fuck the shit outa me... I took that as a compliment
I think I used my NERF gun during sexual roleplay. Need to re-evaluate my life choices.
Only my second night back in town and I already have drunk middle aged women doing the robot around me in a circle.
He was pretty bad, I wanted pizza the whole time.
I have 35 pounds of pennies. Need any?
I thought he was a lobster and that the moon was going to pull me through him.
I don't think I should try acid.
Randomize
