I just saw the host of Singled Out do standup. Holy shit 1995.
Ps I don't think it counts as being open minded if you didn't know he was missing a leg until you had already started making out.
I really have to stop waking up in hot tubs on Friday mornings.
Just a smidgen more estrogen and shed be golden
She's got a legit dose of dude going on
No kidding. All she needs is a cheek full of chewing tobacco and I'd have fucked John wayne.
you're going to have to hot glue me into my dress tonight. there's no way out.
A whole bunch of large men eating Doritos just knocked on my door and asked if they could take out my trash?
Dude. I knoww what ur thinking. Yes, your hand hurts. It's because you fell through a window. If and when you wake up, go to the hospital.
And I also succeeded in getting kicked out of a bar when I was drinking straight from the vodka bottle at our table.
I will refer to it as the penis of glory... he fucked me for 3 and a half hours - and all he needed was a 5 minute power nap in the middle (which he took WHILE INSIDE ME). I plan on staying with him forever
I'm going to teach Troy such valuable life lessons. Yesterday I told him to stay away from girls who drink redbull and vodkas.
Fuck you and your fucking taquito's.
That’s talent right there. Maverick and Goose type shit.
We were high and the scary movies were scaring us too bad. Were all watching porn instead now
I just upped my southern womanhood. Taking whiskey and Kleenex pocket packs to the funeral.
She said cowgirls can can pee standing up and proceeded to pull up her dress and drop her underwear.
Randomize
