i just wanna soil my oats bro
I should have some sort of frequent buyer card or something. I just bought my third bottle of Captain this week. It's Wednesday.
Chipotle...archenemy of the gay man. Cockblocking me since 1997
We took up a collection and paid her $50 to eat a piece of meat. Vegetarian morals trumped once again by cash.
It was a rude awakening when I turned on my phone and the first thing I saw was a picture of David's dick with a face on it, I need to stop drinking in his basement...
I didn't think it was possible but there may actually be TOO MANY pictures of me tagged shotgunning.
so I woke up without pants, but my cardigan was still on and fully buttoned. curious.
Thanks for talking me down from peeing on his window last night.
I am now curious as to how you would have aimed.
Semen is not good for contacts.
I just pictured ballsacks being shoveled into the furnace of the Titanic.
Well she started to strip and when she slung her hair at me, she painted my face with sweat. A LOT OF SWEAT. It was a weird boner.
I just watched in amazement as you had a full conversation about water temperature and bacteria with your pet goldfish.
So we were in bed when his brother walks in, walks over to me, fist bumps me and says he just wanted to say hi, then leaves...so random lmao
In the middle of pounding my asshole he stopped and said, "do you want to get breakfast after this?"
So, I've discovered that I'm approximately 70% nicer to my mother when I've had an orgasm in the last 48 hours. It's science.
Randomize
