dude i woke up in a pile of chocolate chips. this has to stop happening
i just woke up to seventeen texts from you saying all the things you would have done for a french fry.
How was the rest of your night?
A little fuzzy and a lot naked.
and now i get to think about how i fulfill a gay man's harry potter fantasy. thanks for that
He showed up at my house, drunk, proclaiming that he needed to fuck me...my dad let him in
I didn't realize how trashy of a night we had.
Welllll, you did eat a cherry out of my pussy. So I think that classes it up a little.
Yeah we do. It needs to be like a good penis- long, substancial, and able to make people cry.
don't do it for the experience, do it for the story. now get your ass in that bedroom
Using my graduation announcement box as a table to roll a blunt on. I've official stopped giving a shit about senior year
I'm so high that hamburger just went up my nose. Mustard BURNS
He told me he needed "space" but then goes and likes my insta of panacakes.. Done.
Would it be rude to use my vibrator? like he forfeited his right to be mad when he left me orgasmless...right?
No clue what you did last night, sorry. You did hand me a pizza and a mason jar with $1200 in small bills in it when I let you in though.
I just got to my parents hungover as hell. My dad could tell and said "theres only one cure for a hangover" and handed me a beer. This morning went from a 0 to 10 in an instant.
Found your bra in my backseat. And yes it took me that long to finally clean it out from last weekend
Didn't even know it was missing, if that makes you feel any better
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