I'm totally gay for Miss Californiaaaaaa
oh sweet, sweet irony
Using pot as a way to stop crying probably isn't a good sign huh?
Meh, some people pop Prozac, you smoke weed. Po-tay-to. po-tah-to
Im partying with a unicorn. You don't even know.
do people in england often walk their sheep on leashes? or is this guy the exception to the rule?
the last girl i hooked up with and the last guy i hooked up with are hooking up right now. this is where bisexuality becomes a problem.
It was scary, we all screamed. Never make mimosas in a car.
Just found puke on my backpack while sitting in class. It's like this weekend won't leave me alone.
Dude, they are shaking the RV, yell at them. It feels like i'm being rocked to sleep, I don't like it, I'm not a baby.
hot buttered vodka was not a success. on any level.
My dating life has become some fucked up hydra of dicks; you cut one off and two pop up in its place.
I would have been very attracted to her had she not been reading me my Miranda Rights
Looks like a took a video of myself beating off and passed out last night. I'm classy.
So last night was the first of "I got cut off before I walked in the bar".
He will be so fat that the winter can not penetrate his blubber.
I love you with the passion of a thousand FUCKBOYS during the height of week 1 texting
Randomize
