I just woke up my dad to tell him that i made out with the drummer. He wasnt as excited as I was.
How is it that lesbians won't hit on me at a gay club, but they'll hit on me every time I go to Walmart?
why does the wii remote smell like your vag?
then you gave the doctors and nurses bloody high fives
she was puking red wine out the car window, telling me about how shes joining weight watchers tomorrow, not okay.
i have learned 4:30 is too early to start pregamming for the midnight harry potter
I was making out with him, and then his friend randomly took off my pants and started going down on me. My first semi-threesome was a success.
Rule of thumb; if you ask me if my tits are fake you will not get to touch them.
We both got free alcohol and got laid by foreign men last night.
I'm not going out again for the rest of my life. I can't top this.
I think the exact words were 'I'd lett him to the weirdest shit to me'
well. can officially check "get caught having sex on the front porch by the neighbors" off the bucket list.
She's running around the streets punching people and narrating. I don't know whether to laugh or stop her
She made me keep my boots on and say "you're welcome darlin" after every orgasm......so yes it was an awesome night.
its 11:20. i'm drunk in class flying paper airplanes for my final. what the fuck is my college experience right now?
I'm not having sex with him if he doesn't believe in gay marriage and abortions.
Randomize
