I hope you have a really shitty weekend. I love you.
how do you clear previous safari searches on an iPhone? i asked my brother to google something for me and "big penis" "empire chinese food" and "reverse cowgirl" popped up.
i just wish he would text me so i could ignore his text and show him how little i care anymore
Tampa is so boring. I'm dying. I want lots of cleavage at my funeral. If i cant get laid, i want my friends to. I'm that kind of person
It was like a secret agent hookup. No names, swift execution, get in- get out.
I'm currently trying to figure out how I woke up naked and handcuffed to my bed. Not real worried about class right now.
So I'm about to go to his house and have "I'm really sorry for cheating on you last night" sex
He tried to make eye contact, he should know by now that freaks me out
he also begged me to fake an orgasm when he couldn't get me to come.
I wanna get freshman fucked up and do shady things on the last Friday of my youth.
Because everyone is allowed one half drunken 7:30 am walk back to campus in a cowgirl costume, right?
If the world ends now I want you to know I was on my favorite toilet fighting the good fight.
Drinking a grey goose and water in a random chair that I found by the road by myself
So there's that.
You rubbed a frozen pizza in my face. The concerning part was that it was semi cooked from our body heat
I'm officially removing you from my nudes recipient list on snapchat.
Randomize
