sorry i'm running a bit late. had to shave my brittney...was looking more like rapunzel. clearly i've been having a drought.
Cleveland boys shit in their own pumpkins in their own living room. Got pictures to prove it.
Drunk off five beers on a Tuesday. I'm not sure which part of that statement is more sad
My mom just blew pot smoke into my nose and called me a cat.
Also pregame at mine tomorrow?
Briing, briiing- tricycle ridden. Where is my crown?
I woke up naked in his kitchen...His name is Mike and we're having a "what happened last night" beer.
I love you like a cupcake loves an overweight child, very similar to the mannerisms of a whole cake but personal, and minus the commitment issues, plus just the right amount of icing; not to mention the convenience of mobility, and only a smidgen of the guilt😘
Pretty sure the nurse said at one point I was in full restraints because I tried surfing my stretcher
Professor just informed us that she can't come to class today because her daughter broke her glasses and she can not see where she is going. Am I still drunk from this weekend?
There something about a girl that pirates lemonade off a restaurant fountain as a mixer that I find intriguing.
I'll be there in a few.
I'M COUNTING TO FEW.
All I see when I think of you are dancing penis angels around your head.
I'm sorry, that really sucks. I'm in the bath eating lasagna and if anyone comes in here it's going to be bad news for them
Go have a frustration cry and get over it
Can't talk, I'm icing "sorry I barfed on your couch" onto a cookie cake
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