like if someone fucked a dictionary but instead of having a penis, it was just one of those leap frog educational toys
I hope to god you are high
Im bringing wine tonight. Its from a merlot from nashville. i bet it'll taste like infidelity and teenage pregnancy.
I wonder how skeet ulrich feels about the skeet skeet phrase and and what it denotes.
Just saw a Mexican guy pushing a stroller with 3 twelve packs of corona in it with a toddler struggling to keep up on foot behind him
Yep. About to get on pornhub to spill some Christmas cheer
I woke up face first on my living room floor arms outstretched toward the christmas tree
He said I was the smartest girl he had ever dated, that should have been a sign from the beginning
Pretty sure that drunken football on the back porch with 6 guys with a champagne bottle was a bad idea....
The woman at the nail salon waxing my lip just showed me the strip with all the hair on it while smirking. Apparenltly 'you have a stache' can be communicated through a language barrier.
Yeah. I don't think I have anything left in me tho. I think I was throwing up tangible memories at one point.
you walked onto the street in the middle of the 10K in your thong. it was a whole new kind of expirience.
It could be worse. I was dumped by a guy in a kilt after he gave my shoes away on St. Patrick's Day.
Drinking wine from a straw at 6:15 in the morning. This is what college does to people.
I just want cinnabon and vodka.
I had to break up with her. She was sending me study schedules and recipes for vegan lasagna. I’m just trying to survive man
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