I think my vagina is haunted
He better hope I dont die soon. Because I would haunt his bitch ass and cock block 24/7
all i know is that they all tuched my pee cup last night.
my dad just referred to me and my boobs as 'the three of you'
She is only going home with him in hopes to give him herpes. She has been plotting some master revenge since 7th grade.
At least our walk of shames never included a bag of chips and a jar of queso..
Know what's awesome? Flying a mini helicopter while you shit.
If taco bell and midol can't fix her, she's in gods hands now.
Trust me. I don't get home before 5am. I know what Immmm doing. BTW bail money is in my closet. PEACE
If I don't survive tonitght I would like to thank you for the ricekrispy treats. I am majestic
Me ending up in the fetal position in my shower is becoming far too commonplace. It's like a weekly therapy session
Have you ever hotboxed under your comforter? Best. Decision. Ever.
He was super adorable, like I wanna pinch his cheeks while I fuck him...
Why the fuck was I face down on the floor with you mounting me like a horse anyway? I'm so confused
Wow first he impregnates you then he won't send you the sex tape you made together? Where has chivalry gone?
Randomize